Wyong Hospital’s maternity unit has seen ups and downs in its 13-year history, but is now back on the rise again as the Central Coast’s low-risk birthing centre.

As the venue for almost 10 per cent of births for the Central Coast, Wyong’s birthing unit has a way to go before competing with the number of babies born at Gosford Hospital, but Central Coast Health’s Acting Divisional Manager for Women’s, Children’s and Family Health Angela Monger hopes that day is closer.

“We support births locally for people. People want that. If we could get more of our normal births out to what is now essentially a birth centre [at Wyong Hospital], then we would lighten the load at Gosford and we normalise birth for women,” Ms Monger said.

The unit opened in October 1997, however problems such as a lack of obstetricians and anaesthetists and funding for registrars and trainees, have meant it has closed several times, including a five-month closure in 2008. “In early 2008 we had a problem with lack of obstetricians here at Gosford so there really was no choice. The obstetric support that was at Wyong was brought to Gosford,” she explained.

Then started a recruitment program for obstetricians that is still underway even now. “It was obvious we weren’t going to be able to fix the lack of obstetricians problem here quickly so we went into recruitment. Most of our applicants were from overseas and it takes a considerable amount of time to get them over here,” she said.

When the Wyong birthing unit re-opened in late 2008 it was under two midwifery care models – caseload or Midwifery Group Practice (MGP) and Team Midwifery Program (TMP) – and run independently from Gosford Hospital. Women who needed obstetric support or had problems in labour had to go to Gosford Hospital.

“With caseload a woman is allocated to a known midwife and, apart from when the midwife is on her designated days off, that is the midwife that they see for all their visits, in labour, and all being well, that’s the midwife who will care for them. Women going through caseload feel more supported and more secure and able to continue with their decision to have their baby at Wyong. We want to continue to have more babies at Wyong,” Ms Monger said.

And this is the scenario Central Coast Health is aiming for. “We also know we get better outcomes from normal women when they are away from an environment of a high risk birthing unit,” Ms Monger explained, saying fear caused longer labours and greater pain. “Women who feel completely supported and capable of doing something actually manage to do it so much better. Women being supported by an individual who is very experienced and philosophically of the viewpoint that birth is a natural process are going to have better outcomes.”

The process of going to hospital to have a baby and then returning home soon after is called Domino Domiciliary in the United Kingdom, where Ms Monger practised as a midwife. Care is provided in a woman’s home by midwives post-natally and, sometimes, ante-natally.

Despite recruiting midwives for the TMP model, the number needed to effectively staff Wyong birthing unit could not be maintained and Ms Monger decided to switch to one care model, similar to the system run at Belmont Hospital. “Belmont has operated successfully like that for a considerable amount of time now and has very good outcomes - very short lengths of stay and women who are supported by their midwives to go home early then have whatever home visits are necessary for the individual.”

So now women attending Wyong Hospital to give birth naturally can see the midwife they had seen throughout their pregnancy and a second midwife comes in for support as the baby is born. The unit is sometimes heaving with activity, and other times quiet. “We always say our birthing suite is a bit like the emergency department of the hospital – we can’t predict exactly what is coming in,” Ms Monger said, and added there was some known activity like booked inductions and caesareans, “but we can’t control when people will go into labour”.

Another advantage of the MGP model is allowing midwives to stay with labouring women if they have to be transferred to Gosford, even if they only stay with her as a support person. This model also provides assessment during pregnancy, such as if a woman has had some bleeding or they think their baby is not moving.

“Our hope and intention is that one day we will have all the required resources for reintroducing an obstetric service at Wyong,” Ms Monger explained and added she hoped home birth would also be an option for Central Coast women. “We’re not able yet to offer people home birth on the Central Coast, but I certainly hope that that is something that will be available to people one day.”

“A birth unit like Wyong is there for people who would have a birth at home – they recognise home as the best place to be, rather than a hospital environment. Hospitals generally don’t perpetuate the whole wellness model – it’s an illness model of care.”

We had an fabulous line up speakers including Brigitte & Oliver Sigl who spoke about their medically necessary caesarean section, Selena Maloney who was completely empowered by her breech vaginal birth, Cassandra Bell who found great support in our local private hospital, Eszter Wong, who shared her special VBAC journey and Jane Eager who moved everyone to tears with her wonderful homebirth.

Guest speaker Caroline Hastie, beautifully summed up how our attendees could also achieve such empowering births regardless of any challenges and local celebrity and song writer, Amber Burns, performed her two beautiful songs during the scrumptious morning tea which was provided by the members.

International Midwives Day – May 2010
What a fabulous day this turned out to be and happy belated International Day of the Midwife to all!  A light luncheon was arranged at Wyong Hospital which became the focus of local media attention and was supported wholeheartedly by Northern Sydney Central Coast Area Health Services.

The aim of this special day was to not only celebrate midwifery, but to raise awareness to as many people as possible about the important service that midwives provide to our communities.

Local newspaper reporters and photographers came along to snap photos of our local midwives with the Mums and Bubs they had recently supported during their births. Local MP, Craig Thomson, his wife Zoe and daughter, also came along to show their support of our local maternity services.  And of course everyone was completely ‘Wowed’ by the spread of delicious delights supplied by our Central Coast members.

Plans for June, July & August 2010
Winter will also prove to be a busy time for the Central Coast Branch as we are working closely with the Northern Sydney Central Coast Health Services to help improve birthing options for all women on the Central Coast.  2 of our local members have been invited to speak at the Community Congress Conference. As we head towards Spring our 2nd Empowering Birth Stories is being planned for August.

The Central Coast Maternity Coalition always welcomes new members, so if you are passionate about birth or you believe that all women should have the right to choose their maternity care, please come along to one of our meetings.

Meeting details

Dads are usually overlooked when it comes to childbirth preparation. Yet when it comes to the big day, they need to know how to support their partner through what can be the most physically challenging and emotionally charged event in their lives.

Beer and Bubs, a one-night session held in local pubs, was developed by Sydney-based childbirth educator and birth attendant, Lucy Perry.

“I could see that dads really wanted to be involved in the births of their babies, they just didn’t know how,” says Lucy. “But they like the idea of heading to the pub with a bunch of other men who are in the same boat as them.”

Beer + Bubs has been running in Sydney for six years, going national in 2009 with dads in all major Australian cities and some regional areas sinking a few beers in the name of fatherhood.

“Most men are surprised to learn that childbirth is not a spectator sport and that they can have a profound impact on their partner’s birth experience, helping to make it faster and easier for them,” says Beer and Bubs Central Coast facilitator, Lisa Kim.

The two-and-a-half-hour session covers what to say and what not to say during childbirth, tips on how to be an advocate for the birthing mother, practical tips on pain management as well as specific recommendations on how to support a woman through each stage of labour, including a caesarean.

“The friendly, casual atmosphere of the pub is a great venue for childbirth education,” says Lisa Kim, a mother of two, childbirth educator and local Maternity Coalition representative. “Childbirth is unfamiliar territory for most blokes, so it’s more comfortable for them to be in their natural environment to learn about something so foreign!”

Beer and Bubs is held at the Tall Timbers Hotel at Ourimbah once a month. Check the website for details and bookings or phone 0418 656 221.

He shoots, he scores: why one day we could win the World Cup….

Picture the scene – the young player steps up to the penalty spot, he glances confidently at  the goal, he runs, he shoots, he scores…. then he rushes over to mum or dad for a quick high five before sitting down behind the other toddlers in his soccer class , ready to wait for his next turn at the penalty shoot-out.

This winter, the world’s greatest soccer players are competing in the FIFA 2010 World Cup in South Africa.  And Australia will hold its breath as our team battles the odds to progress in the competition.

But maybe this will change, as a new generation of Socceroos emerge.  At Little Kickers you are never too young for the beautiful game.  In fact, the children attending Little Kickers football classes make Tim Cahill look over the hill.

Over 12,000 children attend Little Kickers classes, which are aimed at 18 month to 7 year olds.

Wherever the location, classes follow a similar format, and were developed by highly qualified coaches, with input from child-health specialists.   A warm up and ball skills games lead to the main event, excitement peaks as the penalty shoot-out begins.
Our mission at Little Kickers is not only to focus on the physical well being of the child, but also to promote the development of social skills such as turn taking, following instructions and sharing. These skills for life are put into practise at a time when the playing field is certainly ripe for parents wanting to get their kids moving. Our team at Little Kickers has adopted a “Play not Push” commitment at our classes which means that children are encouraged to develop at their own pace in a non-competitive environment.  Each class is run by two coaches and whilst parents can participate if they feel that their child’s enjoyment will be enhanced by their involvement, one of the overall objectives of the sessions is to encourage kids to learn to play independently of their parents, so the parents get a well deserved break on the sidelines.
Many professional players, having missed a vital penalty, may have wished to ‘move the goalposts’, and at Little Kickers this is not just a metaphor. The aim is to improve a child’s confidence and self-esteem, with the priority that he or she actually scores. If the shot is in danger of drifting wide - and bear in mind that the younger children are still getting to grips with running, never mind kicking - coaches nudge the goal along the ground. Cue a deafening round of applause.  If only we could introduce this at professional level!

So, on the 12th July, when the World Cup is over, and new champions have been crowned, thoughts will move towards the future, and it may be only a pipe dream, but if our ‘Little Kickers’ can help Australia to win a major championship - or at the very least come out on top after a penalty shoot-out – then maybe we should all dream ….

For more information about Little Kickers  www.littlekickers.com.au

Even though my eldest son is about to turn four I always insisted he travel in a car seat after he grew too big for the seat he had as a baby. My youngest son is about to outgrow his baby seat and will soon be joining his big brother in sitting in a booster with a harness.

From March 1, it became law in NSW that:

* Children younger than six months must be secured in a rearward facing restraint
* Children aged six months to under four years must be secured in either a rear or forward facing restraint
* Children aged four years to under seven years must be secured in forward facing child restraint or booster seat
* Children younger than four years cannot travel in the front seat of a vehicle with two or more rows
* Children aged four years to under seven years cannot travel in the front seat of a vehicle with two or more rows, unless    all  other back seats are occupied by children younger than seven years in a child restraint or booster seat*

I knew I was definitely not alone in following these recommendations before they became law. My friend Amanda Gonzalez shared my view, and assumed when she booked a taxi to travel to Sydney airport from her home in Coogee on March 1 that there would be suitable car seat for her two-year-old son Lex. After all, it was law then.

“Most taxi companies would only have capsules – and if they did have seats, they were only up until 12 months, because when I was trying to book it in February anyone above 12 months could legally ride with a normal seatbelt,” Amanda explained. “But we were travelling on March 1, which was the first day the laws came in.”

After spending several days ringing around Sydney’s taxi companies Amanda became frustrated and annoyed. “I finally got someone who would agree to have a car seat, but they couldn’t tell me whether it would fit Lex or not. They couldn’t guarantee it was even going to turn up and secondly, if it did turn up, whether he was going to fit. They said that’s the risk I had to take.”
Even a taxi service that promoted itself as being a specialist in mobility wouldn’t guarantee a car seat to suit a child over 12 months.

“We ended up hiring a private car from Green Tomato Cars, because they were the only people who would guarantee us a car seat,” Amanda said, adding that it cost her $120 for this service to and from the airport, compared with the $40-60 it would have been in a taxi.

“We live 9km away from Sydney airport. But I would use these people again – they were so professional, they were here early, the car was impeccable, the driver was in a suit and tie and when we came off the flight half an hour early they were there with a printed sign. It was wonderful, a great experience, but it was $120.”

Even in Fiji, where the family was travelling, there was a car seat fitted in their car without a fuss. “So if a country who is having huge political problems and has been battered by a cyclone can manage to present a car seat, I’m pretty sure Sydney can manage it,” Amanda said.

A booster seat and harness that would fit a child up to seven years can be easily bought at Big W, Target or even a car accessory store for less than $100. Why are these companies resisting when it costs so little? What is a child’s life worth?

* From RTA website: http://www.rta.nsw.gov.au/roadsafety/children/childrestraints/index.html

He was sweating and screaming when a member of the public smashed one of the car windows to get to the child. This boy had been locked in the car for 20 minutes. In that time the temperature had soared to an estimated 60 degrees – a temperature hotter than I have a shower.

One of the reasons this incident horrified me so much was I have left my baby in the car while I paid for petrol thinking, “oh it’s only for a minute or two”. Does a minute or two really make it OK? Yes it’s a pain to get the child out of the car and carry them into pay, and what do you do with them while you’re actually paying? That really isn’t the issue, though, is it?

She was charged for her crime - I’m sure what could have happened is something that will stay with her for the rest of her life. But it happens all the time. NRMA figures show 1,890 children were rescued from parked cars in 2007/08.

Minister for Community Services Linda Burney said there is zero tolerance for leaving children in cars. There is no defence, even though I admit to having done it myself. It is never acceptable to put your child’s life at risk by leaving them in a car, even for a few minutes like I did.

“There is never a safe time to leave your children in the car. Heat in cars can kill children three times more quickly than it would adults,” Ms Burney said.

“The inside of a car can reach dangerously high temperatures very quickly, even with the window slightly open.

“For example, on a typical Australian summer day, the temperature inside a parked car can be as much as 30 to 40 degrees hotter than the outside temperature. On a 30 degree day, the temperature inside the car could be as high as 70 degrees.”

Leaving a child unattended in a locked in a car is a crime under the Children and Young Persons (Care and Protection) Act 1998 and the fine can be as much as $22,000.

This Sydney mother of four who was charged for leaving her son in the car before Christmas made me ask “what if?” I was outraged when I saw the story all over the news, but when I dwelled on it, aren’t I just as guilty because I did it as well? Is the fact I did it for two minutes more acceptable compared with 20? Or that the car was parked in the shade at under the petrol station roof, and not on the street?

The new study assessed the outcomes of almost 300,000 births in South Australia from 1991 up to 2006.

Only 1,141 of these were planned homebirths and they were found to result in a similar overall rate of child deaths compared to planned hospital births (7.9 deaths per 1,000 planned homebirths compared to 8.2 deaths in planned hospital births).

For babies born at home the news is even more encouraging. There were only 2.5 deaths per 1,000 actual homebirths making homebirth at 328% safer for babies than birth in hospital.

The study also proves what homebirth advocates haven long known. The outcomes for mothers and babies are vastly improved by choosing to birth at home.

The study says:

Rates of intervention such as caesarean section and instrumental delivery were lower in the planned home birth group.

• No measurable increase in rate of postpartum haemorrhage for planned home birth group.
• No statistical difference in Apgar scores for liveborn infants between home and hospital birth.
• Women who gave birth at home or planned to were more likely to have an intact perineum
• Women who planned a homebirth had a seven time lower episiotomy rate than planned hospital birth.

For a long time now we have heard the rumours of a new home birth study that Dr Pesce had hidden under his hat, waiting to release it at the perfect moment. Reportedly it showed a baby had seven times more chance of dying at a homebirth but a close inspection of the research reveals these claims as false.

When we look closely at the research what we find is that the study is based on 1,141 planned homebirths. This includes women who were planning to birth at home but ended up birthing in hospital. This decision could have been made during the pregnancy or during labour. There are nine deaths reported in the planned homebirth group and seven of these occurred in hospital. Of the two babies who died at home, one had congenital abnormalities that would have meant the outcome would have been the same wherever the birth occurred and only one death is a stillbirth at home.

Many studies of this kind exclude babies with congenital abnormalities but this study has chosen to leave those in. There is no explanation or investigation of the thousands of babies who died in hospital during the same period who are conveniently left out of the study.

What is most concerning about this study is the way it has been presented as proving homebirth unsafe, even ‘deadly’ according to one headline when if we read it closely the opposite is actually true.

When we look at the claim that a baby has 27 times more chance of intrapartum asphyxiation what we see is that only ONE baby of all these babies suffered from this and yet this claim of there being a 27 times higher risk of death to a baby from intrapartum asphyxiation at a planned homebirth is made from this ‘research’.

Family experience the bliss of a natural home birth
The use of ‘research’ like this to push a political agenda by the AMA is unethical and dangerous. Dr Pesce says in his editorial “health policy makers should focus on evidence based decisions rather than political ones.” Yet it is he who has taken this flawed study and aggressively pushed the AMA agenda to the media to further their own political aims. The AMA does not want the Government to fund and indemnify private midwives as this is a threat to their own business and client base.

When we look at the real evidence and see the truth about birth statistics from the perinatal data reported across Australia what we find about homebirth is in 2006 not a single baby died at a homebirth and in 2007 there were 3 fetal deaths at homebirth. In 2007, 870 planned homebirths, representing 0.3% of all women who gave birth, were reported nationally. There were 2174 fetal deaths in Australian hospitals/birth centres in 2007. There were 3 fetal deaths at home during planned homebirths in 2007. Of babies born at home in 2007, 99.7% were liveborn. In 2006, 708 planned homebirths, representing 0.2% of all women who gave birth, were reported nationally. There were 2091 fetal deaths in Australian hospitals in 2006. NO BABIES DIED AT HOME DURING PLANNED HOME BIRTHS IN 2006.This does not sound like the frightening 27 times more chance of a baby dying of asphyxiation or 7 times more deadly that this study and the headlines claim.

The three most well recognised international studies on homebirth have shown home birth to be safe and is some cases, safer for babies and mothers. In the Netherlands they studied 529,688 low-risk planned home and hospital birth. This study shows that planning a home birth does not increase the risks of perinatal mortality and severe perinatal morbidity among low-risk women, provided the maternity care system facilitates this choice through the availability of well-trained midwives and through a good transportation and referral system.

A Canadian study of over 12,000 births showed planned home birth attended by a registered midwife was associated with very low and comparable rates of perinatal death and reduced rates of obstetric interventions and other adverse perinatal outcomes compared with planned hospital birth attended by a midwife or physician.

A study of over 5000 births in the USA and Canada showed women who intended at the start of labour to have a home birth with a certified professional midwife had a low rate of intrapartum and neonatal mortality, similar to that in most studies of low risk hospital births in North America. A high degree of safety and maternal satisfaction were reported, and over 87% of mothers and neonates did not require transfer to hospital.

An economic analysis found that an uncomplicated vaginal birth in hospital in the United States cost on average three times as much as a similar birth at home with a midwife in an environment where management of birth has become an economic, medical, and industrial enterprise.

Birthing women and babies deserve so much better.

“The safety of mothers and babies must come first in any debate,” Dr Andrew Pesce said yesterday and we completely agree. This study and many others actually show that it is safer for mothers and babies to be born at home.

We call on the AMA and RANZCOG to stop their scare mongering for political and financial gain and look at how to improve the safety of mothers and babies during birth in ALL settings. Women will continue to home birth as they have done for centuries and the medical establishment must provide willingly the support and backup for those women and their chosen care providers, their private midwives.

It is unacceptable that the President of the AMA, himself an obstetrician has chosen to take this study and use it for his own political gain. We call for Dr Pesce’s resignation as he has breached repeatedly his professional oath, ‘First do no harm.’

The authors of this study say themselves “Although it is not anticipated that large numbers of women will opt for homebirth, women’s autonomy in choosing reproductive behaviour is a fundamental human right enshrined in Australian law.” It is the Governments responsibility to uphold that law, despite the increasing pressure and scare campaigns from so-called ‘professional’ bodies such as the Australian Medical Association, which is a trade union for Doctors and exists to protect their interests.

Any family who has been blessed to have their child born peacefully at home knows what an outrageous lie these headlines are. We all vote and we won’t forget the decisions this Government chooses to make about our basic human rights, Kevin Rudd and Nicola Roxon.

For more blogs written by Michelle and interesting birth information please visit mybirth

We used both types of nappies for our sons – cloth when we are at home and disposables at night and while out. Two dozen cloth nappies was one of the first purchases we excitedly made when we first discovered we were having a baby and they have been used as nappies, cloths, towels, burp cloths mats and a range of other purposes. Modern cloth nappies (MCN) made from natural fibres, like bamboo, hemp and fleece, are wonderful (and we have tried these too), but we’ve the towelling squares to be far more versatile in use beyond their main purpose.

While we try to consider the environment as much as possible through recycling, conserving water and growing our own produce, the ease of use, convenience and water-saving properties of disposable nappies deserves some leeway. I’ve never been an advocate of either cloth or disposable nappies over the other, but have been told I am “good” by many people for even considering cloth. They cite the time spent soaking, washing and drying cloth nappies as a reason to avoid them, but washing has never really bothered me (not like ironing does anyway!).

The reason we chose cloth nappies was mainly cost, and secondly the environment. Like many families right now we are just trying to make ends meet with the money we have available. Cloth nappies seemed a great way to save some money – we paid $30 for each dozen cloth nappies that we could reuse, compared with around the same amount for one large packet of disposable nappies. It made economic sense to us.

At first I used cloth nappies almost exclusively (after leaving the hospital) because I was so terrified of what my newborn might or might not do so I didn’t leave the house for two weeks! Once I got over that fear, I got into the routine of using disposables when I went to the clinic, mother’s group or shopping. We also used (and still do) a disposable nappy through the night because the positions our sons sleep in make leaking a certainty. Our system works well for us.

As I worked more, and as Harvey took over caring for our boys, the number of cloth nappies we use has dropped a bit - but so has the number of disposables. Noah, 3, is pretty much toilet trained and only wears a nappy to sleep, so that just leaves Ethan, 10 months, who wears the combination of both nappy types.

We haven’t forgotten our financial and environmental aims, but combine these with being practical. We save around $0.40 every time we use a cloth nappy, but having carried around several soggy (and worse) cloth nappies for hours while out, we know it’s not practical for us to use them all the time.

As you can see, we straddle the fence when it comes the nappy debate. Where do you sit?

I decided for the birth of my second child that I really wanted the chance to have a vaginal birth after having to have an elective Caesarian for my first child; this was due to a low lying placenta (placenta previa). I knew then my wish to have a vaginal birth became extremely limited and prepared myself for the Caesarian.

A friend of my invited me to a meeting run by the central coast maternity collation (Empowering Birth Stories) where women shared their birth stories and one women spoke of her VBAC experience at John Hunter Hospital. It was there that a midwife also recommended John Hunter Hospital if I wanted to try for a VBAC.

I made a few phone calls and finally got hold of a group called “Yemaya” which is a group of midwives lead by an Obstetrician Dr. Andrew Bisits who specialises in VBAC and Breech Births.

After meeting with the midwives Val and Melinda from Yemaya for the first time, I knew I had made the right decision, they showed so much enthusiasm and reassurance for my decision which gave me confidence and support that I could have a natural birth, which made me very excited.

During the course of the pregnancy I also met with Dr. Bisits who wanted to make sure that I was fully committed in my decision to have a VBAC and aware of my choices. We also went through my birth plan together.

The day after my due date (Sunday) I started to get some sensation of cramping, more like period pain which kept up most of the day but never really got too intense just uncomfortable. I rang the hospital to speak with them and let them know what I was feeling and they suggested it was pre-labour pains so to relax for now but to keep intouch.

At 1am Monday morning I awoke with a sharp pain, I got up to go to the bathroom when my waters broke. I quickly woke my husband and jumped into the shower, while he rang the hospital to let them know but for some reason could not get through to them. We decided to make our way up to the hospital as they had instructed us to do this if my waters broke, so we drove up to John Hunter around 2.30am. Fortunately my mother had offered to have my son that evening just incase I went into labour.

We arrived at John Hunter Hospital at around 3.30am after an uncomfortable car trip managing contractions along the way, they were spaced 6 - 7mins or so apart at this stage. We were admitted into a delivery suite which we quickly made our own. My husband had compiled my favorite music for me to listen too and I bought aromatic oil to burn, we had the room completely darken and asked that all machinery volumes be turned down so not to hear any beeping.

Once we had settled in my first assigned midwife who had obviously just read my birth plan informed me that she is aware of my requests and that it isn’t normal hospital policy to allow a VBAC birth to have intermittent monitoring but would allow this as it was early days and I was only in pre-labour. Straight away my husband and I got a bad vibe that this wasn’t up to her to come in and question what I have already planned and discussed with the Yemaya midwives and Dr. Bisits for my birth. So the monitors were strapped on for 40mins to check the baby heart rate and then I was allowed to have 20mins off from the monitors to move around or go to the shower which is what I had requested in my birth plan.

At 7am there was a change in shift and a new midwife took over my care which was an absolute blessing. As soon as my new midwife Megan introduce herself I got a great vibe from her, she told me she had read my birth plan and was aware of my situation and what I was wanting from this birth, she straight away showed me different positions to be in so I was more comfortable and not restricted to the bed when the monitors were on.

At this stage I was still just breathing through my contractions which were 5mins apart by now. Megan suggested we do an internal just to see how far along I was, of course I knew I wouldn’t be much and I was a little hesitant to know but Megan reassured me that any progress is good progress. At 8.45am I was 2cm dilated.

I was informed by Megan and Daniel the two midwives I was dealing with that an entourage of Doctors are headed my way and they wanted to speak with me about my birth plan. I was a little uneasy but Daniel stayed in the room with me for support. I was approached by 4 doctors who were on staff for that day; they were firing questions at me about my requests in the birth plan. I didn’t realise I would have to negotiate with them about my decisions; I thought it was a done deal since I had Dr. Bisits approval for how I wanted the birth to go.

The Doctors agreed that all my requests were reasonable and would accept my decisions even though they didn’t agree with them. It was a huge relief to know that my birth was still going to plan the way I wanted it too. I kept reinforcing that Dr. Bisits has accepted my birth plan and has complete faith in me birthing this baby.

The contractions were still coming around 5mins apart sometimes a little sooner especially when I was in the shower. The intensity of the contractions were increasing but they weren’t coming any quicker or at a steady rate, so I just kept focused on my breathing and visualising the cervix stretching and opening up which I had learnt in my calm birth classes.

To try and bring my contractions closer together I had a midwife offer to do reflexology on my feet to help speed the process up and my husband gave me amazing support by giving me encouragement, breathing with me, massaging me and making sure I was relaxed to get through each contraction.

It was time again to check how I was dilating. At 12.45 I had dilated another 2cm which made me 4cm in total now and classed at active labour. Even though I had only dilated another 2cm Megan reinforced that it was progress and that’s all we needed to keep everyone happy (Doctors).

I was pleased now be classed as active labour and to have finally reached this stage. The contractions were coming now with more intensity and becoming longer although they were still staggered 3 to 5 mins apart and not coming at a steady rate. Since the contractions were becoming more intense I was moving around and trying different positions, sitting on the ball and on my knees leaning on the bed but I was getting such intense back pain that I didn’t feel I could deal with the contractions and as well as the back pain, I just couldn’t get comfortable. Megan then suggested I try water injections to relieve my back pain, she explained that it would numb the pain by using water inserted into the lower back.

The water solution was administered into my back by two experience midwives whilst I was sitting still on the ball. They explained that it was extremely painful and felt like wasp bites but I was willing to try anything at this stage for relief. Four injections were inserted in my lower back and instantly I had relief from the back pain.

By this stage I had been reassigned another midwife and had to let Megan go but I was happy to meet Amanda who seemed to be just as supportive as Megan. Also Melinda from the Yemaya Group came in to give me support, she had been popping in and out when she could.

My contractions now were becoming so intense I decided to lie down on a mattress on the floor with my husband next to me helping me through each one, I was so tired that I was nodding off between each contraction then once the intensity hit I gripped my husband and breathed through each one. Amanda told me that at 5pm we would do another examination to see how I was progressing. During the next few contractions I was feeling more than just the contraction but movement as well, the intensity was becoming full on now.

Amanda checked how I was dilating and she asked me did I want to hear some good news? I was almost completely dilated, I couldn’t believe my ears I wasn’t expecting that news. So without realising it I was in transition, no wonder I was feeling such intensity.

We decided to get me on my feet and let gravity help me with the last stage of dilation. Straight away my body started surging and pushing this baby down with so much force. I felt I needed to get up on the bed to start pushing, since my body was telling me it was time.

I was pushing with so much force with each contraction, my baby’s head was surging forward then popping back in, this seem to go on for some time. I decided to change positions on the bed and see if this would help but I couldn’t seem to get the baby’s head to pop out. We decided to go on the birthing stool after pushing for about 40 minutes. After a few more contractions I had my baby’s head crowning and I could feel it just there but the contractions seem to be taking so long between each one, so I had to wait for the next one to finally push my baby out, after another big push my beautiful baby boy was out and giving me a great big cry, It was the most amazing feeling.

I had opted to birth the placenta naturally but due to more bleeding then expected I was assisted with birthing the placenta.

Little Oliver (8lb 9 born @ 6:56pm) was then placed in my arms, we waited for the cord to stop pulsing then my husband cut the cord. I was then placed back on the bed and my beautiful son placed on my chest for skin to skin until he was ready for his first breast feed. Once Oliver had finished feeding the midwives carried out their routine checks on our son. I jumped into the shower to freshen up and we ended up spending the night in the birthing suite with our new little boy.

The feeling of accomplishment was overwhelming to birth my baby the way I had wanted too, I was so pleased with how it all went. I feel I had the right support behind me and nothing but encouragement the whole way through the labour and the pregnancy from my midwives and husband. I knew if I stayed focused and visualised what my body was doing I would get through it.

Thank you for reading my story.

Amber

While I took my week-long course of antibiotics I expressed and Ethan was fed bottles. I started to breastfeed him again after the medication had left my system, but a week of bottles had made Ethan not want to work for his milk any more and he refused me. I tried to breastfeed him again, unsuccessfully, each feed for 24 hours until I accepted he had weaned himself.

I felt a mixture of emotions – sadness that the special time I had with him several times a day was now over, but also elation that I could now have my body back and I wouldn’t start leaking at inopportune times. It was a strange combination of feelings, but one many other mothers had told me about.

Another situation that evokes a combination of feelings is divorce. After reading Alison Sainsbury’s pro divorce blog, The Pluses of Division, and following a number of other conversations this week (including discovering two sets of friends had separated), I’ve been pondering the benefits of divorce a lot.

I know a fair bit about divorce – I am the child of divorced parents and have been divorced myself. When I was young my parents waited until they thought my brother and I were asleep before starting their arguments. Of course my brother and I remember the screaming matches, upset our parents spoke to each other so horribly and wondering what was going on. And then there were the times where they used their children as their only form of communication, not actually speaking for months.

When they finally decided to separate I was 25. I was sad, but old enough to realise it was the best scenario – and something that should have happened years before. I am definitely not a believer in the “staying together for the sake of the children” argument. Both my brother and I responded by saying it was about time. My parents were surprised by this reaction, clearly showing they had no idea of the impact their rocky relationship had made on our lives. They were not the best relationship role models, but on the up side they showed me what not to do.

So now we come to me as a divorced - and now happily remarried - woman. I met my first husband at school and we married when we were 22. By the time we were 29 our goals were vastly different, our ideas of a functional relationship were poles apart and we weren’t working well as a couple. I saw years of fighting stretching before and decided to leave. It was not a decision I made lightly, not one I made without support from a counsellor and friends, but one that was necessary for me.

As anyone who follows my blogs will know, I am married (again) with two children and I’m deliriously happy with my life. My ex-husband and I didn’t have children (I thought I didn’t want to) so I don’t have to continue a relationship with him, like my friends will with their exes. Those friends are constantly renegotiating children’s visits amid battles about responsibility, money and new partners. I can only imagine how much worse their battles would be if the couples were still together. Still, they are showing their children how disagreements can be resolved and I think that is a far better example to set for your children than screaming late at night.

Central Coast mum and singer Kasey Chambers has recently discussed her seven-year-old son Talon’s thoughts on divorce, when sharing their collaboration on the song Two Houses. Talon’s lyrics include the verse:

“I have two houses, lucky me
At my Mum’s I go to bed at eight
At my Dad’s I sometimes stay up late
At my Mum’s I have a little brother of my own
My Dad’s house has a pool, a dog named Emmy Lou
And all my bedrooms walls are painted blue”

Clearly Talon sees the benefits of his parent’s divorce. I am not making light of the potentially destructive situation that can be divorce at all, but I think it really is the best solution in so many cases.

Do you think divorce is good? Are there benefits for children?